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Love: Serious Dater's love life is hard for his friend to watch


DEAR ABBY: I have a guy friend who goes from girl to girl regularly. People talk about what a player he is and say he doesn't like the women he is dating. He is called desperate – among other things. None of him never gets to him. Although we were just close friends, he even asked me.

I think he's doing everything wrong and I want to tell him, but I know it's his life, and he'll tell me. I want people to keep talking behind his back. He enjoys me so much when it comes to his life that I sometimes want to scream in his face. Do you have advice for me? – GOOD (GIRL) Friends in Connecticut

Dear neighbor: Yes I do. You have the right to express your views to your friend. That said, try to judge. Stay his friend but focus less on dating so much because it is not your business. You've made a mistake when you allow it to become an obsession.

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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of 10 years and I recently broke over some photos he showed on his mantel. At one time he had an 8-by-10 photo of me, which suddenly disappeared. He swore he didn't take what happened to him. He now has four photos (two are 8-by-10) from a woman he called his "co-worker." She gets on with him at church on Sundays, and I know she has no interest in him.

I'm not a jealous man, but the photos have caused me harm and embarrassment when others asked why the "babe" is in the picture. He knew my feelings about them, but they didn't take them down. He has two smaller pictures of us, but you can't miss the two 8-by-10's when you enter the room.

Am I not wrong in asking him to remove them? I still care for him, but my feelings do not seem to him. – Perplexed and Hurting in Florida

DEAR PERPLEXED: You are not wrong to tell your ex how you feel about the photos. And you are right that your feelings on the subject are not important to him. It seemed he had been fined on the lady of the church, which was why you were wise to break away from the relationship.

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DEAR ABBY: My daughter says that if I send a wedding gift of money to the bride and groom even though we are not invited, it would make the bride feel guilty for not me / us.

My daughter and bride have friends and sports teams for 25 years. We watched you grow up in a nice person. She has a little, backyard wedding, and we fully understood and agreed with her decision not to invite us. What is the correct etiquette on this topic? – Don't know in the Midwest

Do not know expensive: The rules of etiquette are that if you accept a wedding invitation, you should give the couple a gift. However, if you don't attend and would still like to send something, it's not just a break from etiquette, it's a generous and loving gesture. By all means send the check along with a sweet tone expressing the feelings you shared with me. I assure you, the bride will be touched by your thought.

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Dear Abby, written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jean Phillips, was founded by her mother, Paul Phillips. Contact Abby at Or p.o. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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What you need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in "what every teen should know." Send your name and mailing address, plus check or cash order for $ 8 (US money) to: Dear ABBI, Teen Brochure, PIO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)


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