Good evening and welcome back to another riveting round of What Happened On Bake Off – Who nailed it and who uttered it up?
WHAT'S THE HAPPY ON TONIGHT'S EPISODE:
Call your paleo, vegan, cross-fitting friends cause it's gluten free week, babes.
As someone whose favorite food is gluten (specifically French baguettes), this was a real let down personally – but I appreciate the very woke, politically correct inclusion of our GF chums.
* The Great Kiwi Bake Off: The one where they have to literally cook a building
* The Great Kiwi Bake-Off: It's all scone wrong
* The Great Kiwi Bake Off: The one where everyone's baking look like a turd
Dubbed "free from" baking (ugh) the gang had to make two GF cakes.
First up was a orange and lavender cake, and then a jazzy cheesecake that they cooked in little baths, and as a non-baker myself I found this very jarring.
During this episode Annabel revealed that she was gluten free that I'm sure came as no surprise to you. Of course Perfect Annabel is a gluten free person.
In absolute plot twist, however, Perfect Annabel completely rooted her first version of the orange and lavender cake that I was quite thrilled about because I'm a sadist.
She chucked basically a whole jar of lavender petals (or seeds? I'm not sure) into the mixture and had to start all over again when it collapsed in the oven – it was incredible.
After a second crack at it, however, it turned out Quite Fine (ugh), but she still scraped in at third place.
Annabel's second cake was a "hot drinks themed" Chai latte and mocha cheesecake, which sounded pretty sick to me personally, but the judges were in it. Suit yourself.
Despite her humble-bragging that she "once made a GF cake for a friend's wedding," Stace's orange and lavender cake was a little munted.
It collapsed into a bit of a heap, at which point she made the very bold call to mix her marmalade and icing together resulting in a topping that looked like macaroni cheese. She came in last place, no surprises there hon.
Her second cake was a raspberry and lemon cheesecake which was also a bit undercooked and melty. Unfortunately, today Stacey's cakes did not have it.
Larissa on the other hand completely smashed it today and even took out star baker.
Her orange and lavender cake was beautiful and she made a fabulous cheesecake consisting of no less than 1300 flavors (raspberry, white chocolate, rhubarb, ginger, custard and about 1295 more I forgot).
The end result was balanced on some jazzy tinfoil styles and the judges said it tried "creamy and melty". You go girl!
Abigail Dougherty / Stuff
Hosts of "The Great Kiwi Bake Off", Madeleine Sami and Hayley Sproull, try their hand at judging to see what's all about.
On tonight's episode what Jeff lacked in cake stability (this mid bit of his O & L cake collapsed a bit) he completely made up for his jaunty singing around the kitchen.
He also redeemed himself with his second cake, a very "pumpkin, ginger, tamarillo and white chocolate cheesecake" which the judges said was "fluffy melty and cloudy" – all sound like good times. Yay Jeff.
The Great Kiwi Bake Off will follow the same format as the long-running, mega-popular The Great British Bake Off.
Hannah got absolutely negated to bits for her O & L cake – the judges said it smelled like cheese and was "not smooth enough but acceptable".
Thanksgiving she brushed off those negs and powered through in the second round – but also used an alarming amount of flavors (spiced pumpkin, milk chocolate, caramel, white chocolate and maple syrup) which made me feel sick slightly.
The judges, however, seemed to be super in the Flavour Extravaganza.
"The spices are all over my tongue, in a nice way."
Things did not get off to a fab start for Very Hot Joel when he was asked if he had "ever baked anything GF before" and he simply replied with a blank rage stare.
My personal highlight of this episode was, however, when Madeleine said what we all thought about Very Hot Joel throughout this entire season.
"Hayley, I do not think Joel's actually done any baking before this competition, I counted his mates were just like, 'or you should enter for a joke – it will be so funny.'
Things went from bad to worse for Joely when his O & L cake turned out to look like a hunter of stale bread from a Dickens' novel, and his cheesecake was just a basic af lemon and lime number.
VHJ was understandably sent home but I'm sure this is not the last we'll see him on national TV – New Zealand just does not have enough attractive men to let this one slip away into the night.
Thank you and goodnight.